Still Shadows
by Lady Azura
Summary: Temari knew something was wrong the moment she stepped into Gaara's office.


Summary: _Temari knew something was wrong the moment she stepped into Gaara's office._

Disclaimer: Don't own _Naruto_. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: First of all, I'd like to start off by saying that this is only the second _Naruto_ fic I've written since recently getting back into the fandom, so I apologize in advance for any OOCness that might occur. Secondly, what you are about to read is only the first of three parts. Finally, the idea for this fic has been in the works for about two months; I would've written and uploaded it sooner, but I've been super busy and just couldn't find the time until now.

With that said, I really hope you guys enjoy.

X

**Still Shadows****  
**_**By: Lady Azura**_

X

Dawn had yet to arrive when the balcony doors flew open, jarring Temari from her sleep. Teal eyes snapped open instantly, wide and alert, and she instinctively reached for the kunai she always kept under her pillow. She listened for footsteps, for breathing, for a heartbeat -- something that would give away the intruder's exact location, but there was nothing, and when she sat up and glanced around the inky blackness that was her bedroom, she _saw_ nothing; only the transparent curtains billowing in the wind.

With a relaxed, albeit slightly annoyed sigh, Temari's grip on the kunai loosened and instead, she reached across the bed to switch on the light, clumsily knocking over various objects with her elbow in the process. A string of curses fell from her lips, and she continued to grope around until she found what she was looking for and yanked downward. Dim light tore through the darkness and she squinted, waiting for her eyes to adjust before letting her gaze fall to the mess on the floor. She groaned, exasperated, throwing the thin blankets that'd cocooned her in warmth just moments before, and getting down on her knees to retrieve her belongings.

As she sifted through the pile consisting of her hitai-ate, a picture frame, an assortment of random knickknacks and even less meaningful items, her hand suddenly came to an abrupt halt, hovering above the tiny porcelain music box that now lay in pieces before her -- a relic from the childhood she had lost, and of a beautiful woman she hardly remembered. But it wasn't the shattered music box that had caught her attention -- in all honesty, she couldn't care less about the thing; it was pointless to dwell on the past, especially when hers' wasn't a particularly happy one. No. Rather, it was the silver band glistening amidst the heap.

Temari stared at it, and as she stared, she remembered how it had come into her possession -- this simple ring, with an all-too familiar emblem engraved on it.

It had been given to her about a month ago, on her last visit to the Hidden Leaf -- or rather, just as she was departing. Her lover, for the term "boyfriend" seemed far too juvenile even if they were technically "together", had stealthily slipped it into her shuriken pouch, unbeknownst to her. She hadn't even realized it was there until she got back to Suna, which probably meant he must have done it while she was… distracted.

It didn't surprise her in the least that he wasn't _man_ enough to actually get down on one knee and propose, but then again, he wasn't like most guys. He was lazy, sarcastic, misogynistic, unmotivated and always complaining about one thing or another, but despite this, they got along well. Besides, underneath his otherwise indifferent exterior, he was also smart, composed, mature and just plain _brilliant_ at times, although she would never admit it out loud.

And for someone who found women so damn "troublesome", he must've liked her well enough too. After all, he'd been with her for the better part of three years, and if the ring was any indication, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. So, at the very least, he was satisfied with the idea of settling down with her.

Temari paused, plucking the ring up and examining it more closely under the light.

No doubt he'd be waiting for a response the next time she was in Konoha. She could just imagine him sidling up to her in the market on her way to the Inn she usually stayed at while there, trying to act all nonchalant -- then the smug expression on his face when she said "yes", because she knew that he knew that she would accept. If he didn't already know, he wouldn't have asked -- so to speak.

She forgot about the mess on the floor as she rose to her feet, still toying with the ring. The Nara crest, and name, were carved onto it, so she assumed it was fairly old -- probably a family heirloom or something. As unconventional as the Lazy Ass was, he was still traditional to a degree -- at least as far as rings and domestic roles went -- but she'd be damned if he thought for one second that she was going to quit being a ninja to be nothing more than a doting housewife. Granted, she had nothing against his own mother's occupation -- she actually liked the woman a lot -- but cooking, cleaning and _mothering_ -- her jaw clenched -- weren't exactly her forte.

Another gust brought her out of her reverie, and she crossed the room to close the glass doors but stopped short just of reaching her destination. Her brows furrowed and she stepped out onto the balcony with caution, peering out into the vast desert that she called "home". The moon hung proudly in the dark, starless sky, but the sand remained still and unmoving. She licked her forefinger and held it up, but there was nothing -- not even a light breeze.

There was something very unsettling about this night, she decided, and retreated back into her room, shutting the doors behind her and locking them for good measure.

Temari was about to return to her bed when she saw something in the corner of her eye. On the wall, directly across from her, she could see her shadow mirroring her own stance. But beside her shadow, there was something else, and what started out as a shapeless black blob soon began to quiver and transform until it resembled a much more familiar figure; a taller one, only slightly, with hair that seemed to defy gravity.

Her lips curved upward.

"Hey, Crybaby," she called out tauntingly, turning around. "Shouldn't you be in Ko -" Her words stopped when she found herself facing… no one.

There was nothing, and when she spun back to face the wall again, she only saw her shadow. No one else's.

She blinked, then shook her head.

_'I must be seeing things.'_ She deduced, placing a hand against her forehead. _'I need to get some more rest.'_

She paid no heed to the pile of broken porcelain on the floor as she crawled back into bed and set the ring back down on her nightstand, switching off the light as she did so.

But as hard as she tried, she couldn't get back to sleep. Her mind kept drifting back to the Nara heir, and the more she thought about him, the more her stomach churned uneasily and the louder the voices screamed in the back of her mind, _"Something is wrong."_

X

Not even an hour had passed when Temari was suddenly shaken awake by Kankurou who, as soon as she was fully conscious, actually had the audacity to _order_ her to get up. Eyes narrowing into slits, the blonde kunoichi had half a mind to yell at him for disturbing her much-needed slumber, but he interrupted before she could.

"The Kazekage has called an urgent meeting." He informed her. "Your presence is… needed."

She glared hard at him. "Of course my presence is needed, idiot! I'm on the council -- I'm the Ambassador, in case you forgot!"

Kankurou scowled.

"Are you even listening, Temari? _Your_ presence is needed. Just yours."

"Why?"

"I'm not at liberty to say." Kankurou confessed, avoiding her gaze. "Just… hurry up."

Before Temari could interrogate him further, he disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

x

She knew something was wrong the moment she stepped into Gaara's office and spotted _them_ -- two ANBU from the Leaf Village.

They stood in the center of the room, facing the Kazekage, as still as statues. Baki was also present, Temari noted, staring at her old mentor while she waited for her youngest brother to stop shuffling through the mounds of paperwork he was currently occupied with and acknowledge her. When he didn't, she decided to take matters into her own hands and cleared her throat.

"Kazekage-sama." It still sounded strange to her, even after nearly four years. "You wished to see me?" Her gaze flickered over to Kankurou, who was also in the room, hiding in the shadows like some coward.

At last, Gaara looked up.

"Yes," he said, slowly, "I did summon you, Sister. I'm afraid something has… happened."

Temari's brows drew together as she waited for him to elaborate, but he seemed content in stalling and leaving her in the dark.

But _why_? That's what Temari wanted to know. Why would Gaara deliberately _not_ tell her what was going on? If it concerned Suna, or the Sand-Leaf alliance, or simply her _job_, she had every right to know, and the lack of answers she was receiving only served to infuriate her. She was about to snap at him -- completely disregarding his position and the fact that he had guests -- when one of the ANBU, sensing the growing tension in the air, decided to take over.

"If you don't mind, Kazekage-sama… since this is a matter involving _both_ parties, perhaps I should inform her?" Neji Hyuuga's calm voice was unmistakable, even behind his ANBU mask.

For a split second -- and _only_ a split second -- Gaara looked hesitant, as if he wanted to deny the prodigy's request, but then changed his mind.

"Very well."

Neji bowed respectfully before turning to face Temari, the ANBU beside him following suit.

"Yesterday, Konoha was invaded by an old enemy: Kumo. The group shinobi hired to carry out the invasion was led by a member of the Sinobi clan, who still harboured a grudge against our village for an incident that had taken place almost two decades ago. Apparently, my father's death wasn't retribution enough." Temari sensed the bitterness in Neji's voice, but said nothing and continued to listen intently, all the while wondering where her own village came in. The ANBU standing next to Neji seemed to catch on, and took over.

"We have reason to believe that over the last few months, they have been surveilling us. They knew exactly when to strike -- at a time when most of our defenses were down, and the number of ninjas patrolling our village and border was sufficiently lower, unlike the Chuunin exams, when they're under twenty-four hour watch. The attack took us by surprise. Fortunately, we were able to defeat the Kumo nin before they could destroy Konoha in its entirety… but not without sacrifice." The second ANBU, who Temari was now sure was Shino Aburame, paused momentarily to allow her to absorb everything. Then, softly, he added, "We lost some good shinobi."

She didn't know if the last part was meant for everyone in the room, or if he was simply speaking his thoughts aloud. Whatever the case, she responded.

"Of course." She nodded in understanding. "In our line of work, there is always sacrifice. We've been told this since day one. But I still don't see how any of this has to do with Suna."

"Not Suna, specifically," said Kankurou, stepping into the light and pinning her with a look that she couldn't quite identify. "You."

"Me?" Temari repeated, ignoring the foreign pressure on her chest.

"Yes. You." Neji clarified. He almost startled her when he took her by the wrist and, with his other hand, reached into his vest and produced another hitai-ate. As he placed it in her open palm, she started to feel dizzy. "I'm sorry, Temari-san… but Shikamaru Nara was one of the shinobi we lost yesterday."

He released her wrist, and in an instant, Temari felt her entire world crumble.

Time itself seemed to stop and suddenly Temari was alone, standing in a black abyss and clutching the hitai-ate in her hand as if her life depended on it. Her body shook uncontrollably as she stared ahead at the empty space ahead of her where the wall should've been, eyes wide and mouth parted in disbelief while Neji's words echoed over and over again in her mind.

_'No…'_

Her knuckles turned white.

_'No…'_

There had to be a mistake. Shikamaru wasn't… he couldn't be… it was impossible.

_'No…'_

Slowly, the darkness surrounding Temari disappeared and the office became visible once again. She cast a desperate glance at the ANBU in front of her, both of whom were now facing the Kazekage. They were talking about something, or someone -- she didn't know. She couldn't hear what they were saying. They sounded distant -- their voices were muffled by the sound of her own heart pounding in her ears.

_Temari…_

"No…"

_**Temari…**_

"It's not true…"

Her nails were biting into her palms now, hard enough to draw blood. A wave of nausea washed over her, and she felt the bile rising in her throat but swallowed hard, willing it down.

"TEMARI!"

Her brother's cry drew her attention to him. He looked incredulous, and it quickly became apparent to her that he'd been trying to get her attention for a while; it also became apparent to her that all eyes in the room were now on _her_. She couldn't stand it. She felt like she was suffocating under the intensity of their gazes.

"I have to go." She choked out.

She didn't wait for a response before whipping around and walking swiftly out the door.

"Temari, wait!" She could hear Kankurou calling after her, prompting her to walk faster. When he didn't try to catch up with her, she could only assume that Gaara had held him back.

Despite this, she continued to make her way through the Tower in fast strides, quickening her pace with every step she took. By the time she was outside, she was running. She had no idea _where_ she was running to, but she ran nonetheless, until she was deep in the cold desert. She stopped then -- to unclasp her fan and open it with ease, grinding her teeth together as she prepared to unleash the fury bubbling inside her.

With a mighty cry, she began her merciless assault on the desolate area around her. The wind, her greatest ally and companion, obeyed her every command like Gaara's sand obeyed his. It howled with her, destroying dunes and creating caves in mountain sides while fierce cyclones tore through the sleeping desert, giving birth to sandstorms powerful enough to bury a small village.

For hours, Temari continued to demolish everything in sight until finally, she wore herself out.

The steel fan in her grasp hit the ground with a _thud_ and she fell to her knees beside it soon after, panting heavily. Her skin felt raw and her eyes stung. She could feel her chest tightening every time she took a breath, and her hair, which had been freed sometime ago, was now matted to her burning face.

It wasn't until she lifted her arm to wipe the sweat and dirt from her face that realized that she was crying. What made things worse was that she couldn't stop. The tears kept coming, despite her efforts to hold them back, and streamed down her cheeks freely.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd cried. It was such a foreign sensation -- she hated it. She hated that it felt like something was squeezing her heart, and the way the tears blurred her vision, and the pitiful sobs that left her lips. But most of all, she hated that she was crying for _him_ -- that stupid, lazy bastard that had made her fall for him without even trying; that had made her _weak_.

Suddenly, she doubled over, holding her stomach and trying to ignore the searing pain that shot through her abdomen. It was like she was being stabbed from the inside, and she couldn't stop the agonized moan that escaped her.

Even when the pain subsided, she didn't remove her hand from her belly.

She felt sick. She felt exhausted. She felt empty.

"Stupid… Crybaby." She rasped out. "Only you… would pick a time like this… to get yourself killed."

With her remaining strength, Temari forced herself to stand up, using her fan as leverage so that she wouldn't collapse again. As she stared out at the orange ball of fire peaking out from beyond the horizon, she could feel another round of tears building up inside her and almost laughed at her own lack of self-control over her emotions -- something she'd once prided herself on, and often tormented _him_ about. Oh, the irony.

Then, throwing her head back, Shikamaru's name rippled from the back of her throat and into the early morning.

X

**And that, my friends, is the end of Part I.**

**I really hope I kept Temari IC. This idea originally spawned from me wondering what would actually reduce her to tears. She's a strong character, with an equally strong personality, so it'd have to be something big. I eventually came to the conclusion that Shikamaru's death would be that big thing.**

**It took me a while to write this. It'll definitely take some time to write the next two parts as well, but please be patient. I will get to them as soon as I can.**

**With that said, I bid everyone goodnight. I'm exhausted, my butt is killing me, and I'm functioning on three hours sleep.**

**Please ****REVIEW****! Constructive Criticism is always appreciated.**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


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